;) It's good to be back...I think?

Wow... Seriously, how LONG has it been since I last updated?

Well, I'm not gonna answer that but nonetheless, I'M HERE TO RANT! MUAHAHAHAHAAHA!

--

The issue of the day: Come and Go

I've been observing all my dear friends at SMKBU and the frightening truth has dawned upon me: a lot of my friends (and various people) are leaving SMKBU.

I would be a terrible liar if I said the news doesn't make me feel sad. It does make me feel horribly sad to the extent I might start crying if I kept talking about it. It's not the only thing that's making me feel sad. Ever since I first saw people walking out through the gates of SMKBU and never returning, it makes me feel as though I'm stuck somewhere in the cement of SMKBU. Yes, I admit I really, really love SMKBU. But sadly, it's been pummeling down the drain lately.

I'm honestly tired of seeing teachers limiting our choices and achievements. I'm freaking tired to see people not tiring hard enough. I'm extremely tired to see people giving up on things just because its too hard to be fulfilled. I'm seriously tired of seeing people with undiscovered talent not knowing their full potential. It just feels so sad to see those things happening right under my nose.

Yes, all of these things are actually happening at SMKBU . . . and I don't like it.

Sadly, the damage inflicted has run in too deep until it almost seems unrepairable. The only solution to it is either we get a promising Pengetua (someone like dear old Puan Chan, the most loved Pengetua in the history of SMKBU) or . . . (gulps) I transfer myself out to another school.

Again, I would be a terrible liar if I said I have never considered of transferring out of SMKBU. Why not? A few number of my friends has done so and they never turned back. I have been considering to transfer out of SMKBU. To which school, I'm not certain, but nonetheless I felt like the right thing to do was to leave. But how could I?

I thought to myself, 'why the hell do I want to transfer myself into a totally new school where I absolutely know no one when I'm currently at a school with all my lovely friends and teachers?' Transferring out of SMKBU feels like you're moving out of your old home. (Trust me, I know how it feels)

I irrevocably and undeniably love SMKBU.

But I feel my choices are limited. I've always thought cheerleading was something interesting to do. Unfortunately, we have no cheerleading squad in SMKBU. I also thought basketball could've been awesome. Sadly, the basketball team is almost extinct in SMKBU. I have found a number of neighboring schools that seems to offer promising choices for me to find my full potential.

But there's always a risk to pay. I'll be the new girl and honestly, I hate the idea of it. I've never been a 'new girl' in my entire life. Kindergarten hardly counts because everyone was a friend when you were younger. Elementary school was slightly different but still, it's particularly the same as kindergarten. Secondary school was no different. I still see some familiar faces and I've never felt alone all by myself.

But when you're a new student, it's kinda scary because you know no one yet people are looking at you under a microscope as if you're their new Biology experiment. Besides, whenever I'm anxious, I tend to be frightened and scared. So you can imagine the damage I could do if I tried to introduce myself to new people.

So, that's my main question: 'should I transfer out of SMKBU or not?'

I know I would terribly miss all my friends at SMKBU and hopefully, they'll miss me as well. But I've got to make sacrifices for my future.

Oh, god, why is everything so darn complicated?

--

"The clock of Life ticks endlessly,
Sometimes too fast or too slow but you never now,
Moments pass by like a passing shadow,
Sometimes you just want everything to stop."

-In Her Own Head-
Yasmin

Holiday Plans

Ah, saje nak blog so that my blog doesn't seem DEAD!

This upcoming holiday, I thought I was planning to do some job hunting at any art company who is well, willing me to pay for my art or something. My dear friend Zainab helped applying my work to a certain company whose CEO is running some kind of Chinese art department (I don't really remember. I think his work was something related to comics) Since last September, I still haven't received a call.

Insya-Allah, I really hope they call me soon! >.<

Aside from that, I was planning to spend time with my friends. Last Friday, I was planning to go and watch New Moon!! AHHH!! But kesian, I had to balik kampung because it was Hari Raya Aidiladha! Sorry, Min Li!! Damn, I wanna watch that movie. Sheesh kebab.. I was planning to hang out with some friends but it's undecided 'cause I'm going to be moving soon.

The new house is great! But damn, so many dust. It hurts my eyes, makes me sneeze and gives me pimples.

By the way, gotta go!

-Limited internet access-user-

Abandoned!

No, no! My blog is not abandoned... just neglected. That really doesn't make a difference, does it? I wish I could blog but damn, there's nothing to blog! If I could, I would post some camwhoring pictures in the next post. Lol!

But for now, here's something:

I've been posting some stories up in FictionPress.com. To those who want to read my stories, there's two of them:

Shakespeare, my ass!

and

My Egotistical Prince Charming

Please check them out, read and post a review! No time to waste, I've got to ciao!

-Out-

Dear Blog,

Hi, Blog. How've you been doing?

I'm sorry that I've been neglecting but I'll post something new now just to shake myself off from some stress in life.

In our tiny world, we're the population that lives on it. We're humans. Whenever we hear the word 'human', several words popped into my mind: vulnerable, insecure and weak. I once created a saying, which was "Our brains will never mix well with our hearts". I'd like to share something about true friends.

True friends are rare to find on this planet and I agree so. However . . . they don't always last eternally. Most true friends are always there for each other and lend their shoulders for people to cry on. It's great to have such friends like that, right? =) But it wasn't always the same thing for the 'shoulders to cry on'. Sometimes the 'Shoulders to cry on' don't always have their spare of 'shoulders to cry on' either.

Because of this, they could no longer take the feeling of being the ones always listening but not speaking anything. It could be because of their selfishness or jealous(for seeing other people progress ahead instead of theirselves) or anything else that only the wisest could think of. Sometimes, their feelings are involuntarily. As I said, "our brains will never mix well with our hearts". There are definitely times where our hearts are telling us the opposite of what our minds think.

That's one flaw about being human. Sometimes they keep it to theirselves and dare not to offend anyone's feelings. However, that sense of anger of hearing people go to them and expect them to listen clearfully like they were some vending machine will eventually burst out. Conclusion: the amount damage was far worse than it should've been.

Sorry, blog but I have to stop here. I've gotta sleep and smile for another better and brighter morning. =D

-Saranghae yo!-
E.L.F & Cassiopeia

Obsession Part 2?

ARGH!! I want to buy Super Junior M's album but I can't find it! No!

I went to OU recently with my friend Min Li. =D It was nice though because I was able to walk out of the house. The good thing was it was totally unplanned! Min Li had invited me to follow her to McDonalds near Centerpoint. About halfway there, we were complaning about how we wished that we could've gone to place where there are more things to see.

Suddenly, I had an idea.

Coincidentally, my mom had returned home to take a shower. So I thought, "Why not ask mom to send us to OU?" Min Li and I looked at each other and the next thing was cheeky grins creeping up on our faces! And hell yeah, boom! We could go. We spent almost four hours there and jee, it was tiring since I was wearing a pair of scandals that my sister bought from 'Nose' inside OU. Yes, there's a shoe shop literally named 'Nose'. Don't ask why. But the designs were nice! XD

We walked from CD shop to CD shop. I tried looking for SJM's new album but I couldn't find it. Sigh... What a pity. Please listen to Sujer Junior because they rock my socks!

"Super Girl" - Super Junior M



Oh, here's also another thing. I love Big Bang's new Japanese single: Gara Gara Go! I love it, man! Makes me wanna dance and seriously, Seung-Ri is hot! XD But at first I attracted to Dae-Sung first because of his husky voice. Ah! I love Big Bang!

"Gara Gara Go!" - Big Bang


P.S: This was a random post. Sorry for updating such a thing out of the blue. =D

When We Were Young

Here we are,
Growing old and wiser,
The months and years were short,
but the days were the longest.

Nostalgia,
We reminisce about it again,
Our body shrinks back into smaller figure,
and all the worries on our shoulders disappear.

I remember...
We were rushing to bathe,
Until we had collided into each other,
You hurt your nose and I hurt my stomach.

I remember...
We were at our tuition centre,
Right after our class has ended,
Your mom was busy and we played at the back.

I remember...
I was sneaking and playing at the computer,
Dad caught me in the act and I panicked,
Knocking on the bed and you nearly laughed at that.

I remember...
We were on the computer side by side,
chatting away with our greatest penpal from Singapore,
until one day we literally wrestled in front of the computer.

I remember...
We played ball in my sister's room,
The ball went so off from the cupboard to the table,
We couldn't stop laughing for what seems like hours!

I remember...
We use to have annual sleepovers at each other's houses,
We enjoyed each other's company and kept chatting away,
Until it was 5 AM and we watched the sunrise together with bliss.

I remember...
We were craziest in our imagination,
All we did was act and act so spontaneously,
We even created a whole new world inside our very minds.

I remember...
Disney movies and shows were the 'it' of that time,
We never grew tired of watching them when we were little,
Our parents watched us being together so youthfully.

I remember...
All we did was laugh loudly together,
Nothing seemed to matter in world anymore,
Except for the fact that you were once by my side.

The truth hurts,
My heart dare not admit we have changed,
Growing older, mature and of course, more selfish.
Now I wonder... where had the innocence disappeared?

Pains me to say,
That all those were memories kept in our great brain,
Our bodies grew back old and the burdens comes back again,
With my heavy heart crushing, oh I have only one dear wish...

To be young again.

--

Dedicated to my dear cousin and Singaporean pen-pal. You know who you are. =) Thanks for the memories.

Calling out Writers!

Do you think you got a story to write? A story to tell? Well, don't bother in squirting out the brains out of your brain for super long ideas because your story has to at least be under 6000 words!

Check out this website for more info!

-Cheerio!-
Teen Writer

"The Missing Part" Part 2

Little Joanna sobbed in the back of her hands, the pain at her knees stung. She cried on the grass, not moving when the pain just grew worse and worse. Footsteps shuffled closer to her, causing to lift her watery eyes at the person. A warm smile greeted her along with a young face.

"Are you okay?" He asked, squatting down in front of her.

Joanna merely nodded, her eyes lowering down to her knees. He examined them, eyeing them closer and gently touching her knees. She winced in pain. He pulled back his hand. "Can you move?" He asked, a certain kindness glinting in his eyes. She shook her head. He turned around, facing his back to her. She blinked, the last few tears dropped as the others dried up against her moist skin. He looked at her over his shoulder.

"Well? Grab hold to me." He said. Joanna blinked.

How could an eleven-year-old carry a nine-year-old like Joanna? He was skinny, his frame was small and his cheekbones were high and bony. She hesitated at first but he grabbed her wrist. She knew he was demanding her to get on his back. She wrapped her tiny arms around his neck. Slowly, he lifted her up and he didn't tumbled, which surprised her.

He came into a half-crouch and he grabbed the back of her knees, securing her legs with his arms. A proud smile tugged his lips as he started moving forward. She looked at him almost doubtfully as he walked, hoping that she wasn't a burden to him.

"You're very light, y'know." He commented.

Joanna blinked. "Yea, mommy says I must eat more." She replied, trying her best not to shift her weight abruptly. "Thank you for helping me." She smiled softly as he turned the corner of his eye over his shoulder. His cheeks raised as a grin spread across his lips.

"I'm Jason. Nice to meet you. Your name is?"

"I'm Joanna."

Joanna reminisced when she had met Jason for the first time. She remembered running amok in the park until she tripped on a rock and scratched her knees against the rough soil. Jason hadn't change much since they first met. He was still the bubbly, funny and attractive guy he was since middle school. She somewhat thought that their friendship was a coincidence. They both shared the same birthday, February 29th. Once in every four year, they would be jointed by the hip and spent their birthdays doing ridiculous yet adventurous things.

He once said, "We only celebrate our birthdays once in four years. And to make those three years of waiting worth it, we have to try something new." He had winked at her when he said that. That was Jason's motto for everything: 'Do things that will make waiting worthwhile'. He was right. She remembered that he begged her to sneak out of her house during midnight. She knew she was never born to be a true rebel but she gave in. Jason knew how to drive from his bother, Nicholas(who was currently now in college). They drove all the way from the city to the beach, stopping by at certain places to get some snacks on the way.

When she woke up, she found herself on the beach facing the sunset. She couldn't believe how beautiful it was. Jason was standing next to her, the wind blowing in his silky hair. He had said, "After all that trouble, it's still worth it." Indeed, it was worth it.

Joanna recalled their history. They had been the greatest friends throughout seven long years since they were ten. She smiled, grateful that she was able to know another amazing individual. But things changed since July. . . five months ago.

Joanna yawned broadly as she strolled down lazily inside the classroom. She sat at her usual seat which was and always been next to Jason. What a coincidence really. They were the only ones in their class whose names start with the letter 'J'. Joanna looked over to Jason and saw he was looking painfully pale for once in his life. Joanna panicked slightly, gently gripping onto his shoulder.

"Jason?" She whispered. "You okay? You look pale."

He turned to her, trying his best to crack a reassuring smile. But it was obvious to see he struggled with it. Joanna's heart dropped seeing him in pain. "Yeah, I'm okay, Joanna." He lied. He wasn't okay! "Don't worry about--,"

He dropped his head abruptly onto his desk with a loud 'bang!' that made everyone jumped and turned to him as if he was crazy. Joanna's eyes widened and she panicked. She started shaking Jason's shoulder vigorously but he didn't move. He didn't move an inch at all. She gently pushed him upwards and continued shaking him by the shoulders hoping he wakes up. But his face was still as white as snow and his eyes were shut tightly.

"Jason!" She panicked

She closed her eyes, trying to erase that memory from her mind. That was how she'd found out he had cancer for almost two years. His father had lung cancer too and died at the age of 35. Still too young, thought Joanna. Still too young to die. Sometimes, she wondered why Jason did not option to do a surgery and remove the tumour. Even the chances were small, he still had a chance of survival just in time before he reached the critical level.

Joanna waited at the bus stop, waiting anxiously for Jason's arrival. Biting her lower lip, she pulled back the strand of her dark hair behind her ear as she smoothing out her turquoise blouse. She tugged on the tip of her long ponytail, constantly wondering whether she had overdressed or she looked too simple. After a while, she mentally slapped herself. Why was she so worried? They weren't going on a date at all! Only as best friends, nothing more and nothing less. But that thought made Joanna's heart sank.

Could they ever be more than just best friends? She dare not think of an answer and desperately pushed the nauseating thought from her mind. As if on cue, she felt something gripped her shoulders. She immediately jumped and turned around, catching a grinning face that she had missed so much.

"Jason!" She cried happily.

Jason cracked his trademark handsome grin at her. "Looks like you arrived early. Anxious to see me?" He joked. Joanna chuckled and nudged him in the ribcage.

"Of course, yeah! When was the last time we'd hang out? Last month! That's almost thirty days." Joanna pointed out, lacing her arm with his as they began to stroll away from the bus stop. "Besides, I'd like to see you eat like a pig today. You're like a skeleton."

Jason chuckled heartily at that. It was true that he had lost a couple of pounds since he was placed inside the hospital. His arms felt skinnier, his cheeks had concave in his face and his once sparkling eyes now looked extremely tired. Joanna frowned at the sight of him. She couldn't imagine how miserable it must've felt being in the hospital for six months. She felt like hugging him tightly, never wanting to let go. But what could she do? She was a mere human being, she had no supernatural powers that could fight against God's power. Her eyes stung slightly, tears starting puddling slightly in her eyes but not ready to flow out of them. Why him? Why Jason?

"Joanna?" Jason called, coming into a halt.

Joanna quickly grinned at him, hoping that he hadn't notice her squinted eyes that were beginning to soak. "Sorry, I just remembered something about school. It's some project I have to pass up next month." She lied smoothly.

Lying. It was something that she was getting better at almost every time she was around Jason. She hated lying but she clearly didn't want to be honest. Jason raised a skeptical brow at her but smiled instead, decided to not ask any more questions. She returned the smile and intertwined their hands. She dragged him along, making sure her grip was firm. She wanted to make the last few months of his life worthwhile.

It was time for the last few adventures.

--

I'm so, so, so sorry that it took so long to write. Gosh, I feel so guilty now. But at least I've updated in though I hoped I did it sooner. Argh! Sorry! Well, I'll just let the chapter hang again. I'm gonna enjoy myself writing this. There will be Part 3 and possibly Part 4. (unless I decided to end the story tragically or happily-ever-after) I admit I'm cruel to my characters.

Please pray that I didn't lose the inspiration and will write Part 3 ASAP before I turn into asap myself... -.-

Another Day, Another Complaint

Warning: this post is short and contains censored swears that is not allowed for kids under 13. So, beat it!

I freakishly and seriously hate Puan Hasni until my core! ARGH!!! But I seriously, honestly and freakkingly hope that she still run Talent Day after Bulan Ramadhan or after PMR cuz I know if I kena buang sekolah, I'll throw a rat in that woman's desk! ARGH! ARGH! I hate that biatch! Grr, she makes me so *toot*ing mad! *toot*, *toot*!

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This post has ended. The volcano has burst out. Now, the lava cooled off. And time for another complain, my brother is annoying!

-Peace!-
Yz

What the F**K?

Warning: This post contains constant swearing, rants and complains from a teenaged girl's mind. If you don't like her or hate hearing her complain, do not read this post. You've been warned.

I officially hate Puan Hasni binti Hassan, the so-called Headmistress of SMKBU.

Why?

Cuz this bloody woman had changed our 'Hari Bakat' to 'Patriotik-my-foot! day'. If only I hadn't torn the flyers up, I would've shown what it looked like. But due to my intense temper, I had destroyed the papers vigorously as soon as I saw them. Because that bloody bitch had wrote out some stupid pathetic rules!

I recall was:

1. Hanya lagu-lagu patriotik dibenarkan. (Only patriotic songs are allowed)

WHAT. THE. FUCK? Seriously, this bitch has LOST her mind! It's frikking TALENT DAY, not INDEPENDENCE DAY! We, students of SMKBU, were supposed to be showing off our talents for ONE SINGLE DAY and because she thought it would affect us SO greatly, that she just had to fucking butt in and say 'Hell, no'. Wtf? Wtf?? And that's not the only that pissed me off.

She specifically wrote "Persembahan nyanyian dibenarkan. Persembahan tarian tidak dibenarkan." WTF! I knew that she was referring to my group 'EY' who courageously did our Mirotic performance on Hari Guru. What?!! I'm bloody pissed off! It not only affected me, it affected the ENTIRE school. I sure bet that 100 students SO, SO looking forward for Hari Bakat but fucking stupid Puan Hasni just had to butt in. I was delirious!!

I literally cried just thinking of all the students' efforts that were being wasted, especially my teammate Eugene. (who did not directly show it but I had a hunch when he saw the paper) Then, I had a little dance practice of 'Sorry, Sorry' by myself at home and . . . the most absurd idea came into my mind.

"Why don't I run my own Hari Bakat?"

Insane? I don't think that could match up to the whackiness in my brain. It's challenging and daring. I might even get kicked out of school. But it's worth a shot! I WILL TRY to run my own Hari Bakat no matter. I'll beg to my knees to Puan Hasni and beg her to let me run the program. But who says it's gonna be easy. I have a big chance of getting kicked out of school if I do so. But I think I'm brave enough to do so for school.

Cuz I know I'll not give up without a fight.

Warning: the contents in this post are not guaranteed. So if you think she's a maniac, she probably is!

-Lunatic Me-
Yz