A toy...

A toy... that was played around and left rotting on the dusty floor... was me.

Well, not literally. There was no rotting at all and the floor wasn't dusty at all. Maybe it's just emotionally. Gosh... Here's a question for the girls.

Tell me, would you tolerate such nonsense when the guy you liked was fooling around with you and your feelings? To me, my answer will be "Hell, no." Straight-forward but entirely true. I just hate guys who are so arrogant and so self-centered! Gosh, I mean, all they do is act cool or completely stupid! Thinking about it makes me wanna chop their heads off their shoulders with a huge butcher's knife! And boy, I would personally enjoy it.

Let's see... There was this girl who liked a guy who happens to be a total a-hole. Whenever he's out in the mall, he would flirt with random hot girls he sees. Whenever he's at school, he would coolly shoot some hoops on the court and act like the hero around girls. Whenever he's around her, he pretends to be completely oblivious to her feelings and would playfully toy with them. How?

"Do you like him?" A guy asked her. She was frightened at first, shocked to know that her feelings for him was obvious.

"Yes and no. Why?" She answered shyly but managed to keep a solid face.

"He said you were absolutely crazy in love with him," He answered. (Remember, the word 'absolute' is in there)

She was flabbergasted! She was never in love with him. She merely liked him! Certainly more than a friend but never would dare to fall in love with him since she suffered a severe heartbreak from a previous relationship that never worked out. But still, the previous guy was innocent. He merely left but never toyed with her emotions. At all.

Conclusion: The guy she liked now was a complete jerk who thinks he has a lot of fans. And to waste his pitiful short life, he plays around with each girl's feelings... by completely ignoring them, purposely made them suffer to wait for him and of course, showing off to his friends that a lot of girls are kneeling at his feet. Preposterous? No. Intolerable!

Which is why I would never fully trust a boy anymore. (However, they are still exceptions) It's like circles. Once you trust a guy a lot (and he knows about it), the possibilities of you getting crushed are high. So, don't glomp onto them so easily like shooting a sitting duck.

Ignorance

He text her yesterday. But she didn't want to talk to him. So, she never replied.
He called her yesterday, leaving missed calls. But she never called back. So, she never replied.
He talked to her yesterday, asking why. But she hated him so much. So, she never replied.



. . . However, today is his birthday. Despite this, she still didn't want to talk to him....

... even though she once liked him.

School Season

I can't believe it! I really can't believe it, man!

School season is back and now, I'm a sophomore. Grr... Great. I'm supposed to welcome the extremely hard subjects and more drama now! Ahh... the joy of it! (Sarcasm) I really want more time in the holidays to practice dancing while I can. However, I think I'm getting a little sick now.

I don't know whether I've gotten so skinny or its just that I'm breaking my own bones? Well, not literally. But lately, I've been doing some drawing and coloring (you know, 'my hobbies') and my wrist hurts a lot so much whenever I try to twist it around. Must be me practising too hard to perfect my Mirotic dance. Ah... I'm planning to expand my drawing rates now.

I'll try to draw my favorite band one-by-one. I wonder who I should start first? Hmm... Certainly not JaeJoong. He's gonna be a hard one because it'll be hard to capture his bishounen-ness (pretty boy-ness). I might try drawing Changmin since he's so cute but I'm a little bit scared to start, hoping that I don't screw up his oh-so-cute face. (Feeling the fangirl aura again) Just hope I'll be able to draw Yunho since he has tiny face compare to the other members in Dong Bang Shin Ki.

Aish... Besides that, I'll be anxious to wear any braces because I'm pretty scared that I'll have to pull out some of my teeth (I sorta have a phobia for it). I'm just wondering whether I'll survive all the stupid drama and get good gradeds. That's all right now. I'm a little tired and I think I should continue my coloring so I can give it to my friends.

Ja! (Bye!)

Back Home with an Obsession

Hey! I just got back from my five day trip from Bandung. It was very nice because I was with my cousins. I was glad because I didn't need to feel so bored about my stay there and praying to Allah to let me go home straight away to see my lovely computer and my new obsession!



My cousin said I'm completely obsessed with these guys. But I really can't help it. They're so hot and smexy that it just makes me wanna go crazy over them. Even though I've heard about one of the members (the guy in the middle, I mean), I hardly took notice of him and his 'bishounen*'-ness. But still, you can just hear the 'Oh my, Gawd'!

I just love Dong Bang Shin Ki! XD I admire Yunho U-know (the guy on the farthest right) the most because he's the leader of the group and oh my god, he is so manly. LOLZ... I can't believe I just said that. It's been awhile since I last fangirl about something so bad... Hehe XP. Hero (also known as Kim JaeJoong and also the one in the middle) is so cute! It's probably because he is a one hundred percent 'bishounen'. I mean, c'mon! You hardly find guys who look like him nowadays (Though I think I have a friend who sorta looks like a 'bishounen'.. *shivers*)

Choikang Changmin (the guy next to Yunho) is so kawaii**! Ah, he's beyond adorable... He's the youngest among the whole group and he certainly has the best voice (not to mention his tall frame). Oh, the cuteness of him! XD... Xiah Junsu (the guy on the farthest left) has a really addictive laugh like a clown that it just makes me wanna roll on the floor. Micky (the one next to Xiah Junsu) is quite a blur type which is so cool. (Squeals) I just really like Dong Bang Shin Ki. I also watched their mini dramas and my favorite(s) were Dangerous Love and Unforgettable Love.

My cousin thinks I have gone completely nutty for obsessing so much about DBSK. Hey! At least I get to forget the pathetic creep who ruined my freshman year! Well, not entirely my freshman year but he did cost me a heartbreak. So, I gave up on love completely. For now...

It's because I heard he was boasting around to people that I like him so much, probably because I was a tomboy and 'sort-of-hard-to-get'. Jeez, thinking about this makes me wanna choke him. So, I don't bother much with all this mushy-mushy stuff since I'm gonna wear braces that'll make me look completely hideous. Hehe... So, I think I got several vows for 2009. I didn't know where to write the list (in case I loose it and panic with all my goals and all)... I'll just write them here.

1. Stay single for at least more than four months. (However, guys must make the move to me since I'm the traditional type)
2. Work harder and do not get more than two 'C's. If I do, I'll commit suicide. LOLZ!
3. Do not mess around with the wrong guys. (AKA arrogant a-holes or self-centered players)
4. Reject any offers for relationship(s) if necessary. (I don't want to go out with anyone who I don't know or despise...)
5. Listen to DBSK's songs! Ah! I just love DBSK, especially Yunho-oppa***!

So, I think that's all for now. I've gotta go back to drawing my stuff while listen to Rising Sun****! By the way, I'm wearing braces on Christmas Eve. Ah... That's gotta hurt.

GLOSSARY:

* Bishonen means 'pretty boy'. Yes, pretty as in pretty like a girl. That's very rare, y'know.. Kim JaeJoong is really amazing with his pretty-boy-ness in contrast with his toned figure. Boy, he sure does like to work out a lot.
** Kawaii means 'cute'. Changmin is so cute when he grins. If you really take notice of his face when he grins, one of his eyes is smaller than the other which I found it completely... astounding? Gah! But still, he's so adorable! Plus, his grin is really crooked which sorta makes it breathtaking. LOLZ!
*** Oppa is used when a female Korean addresses an older male Korean. However, 'hyung' is different because its used when a younger male Korean address an older male.
**** 'Rising Sun' is the name of DBSK's songs. Because of the name, DBSK is declared Asia's Rising Sun due to their popularity that has expanded from Korean and Japan all the way to Singapore! (Really, it's no joke. They're so popular!) I recommend you listen to the Japanese version of Rising Sun, it's quite good with all of Changmin's loud screams and Yunho's (along with Micky's) awesome rapping!

Indescribable

On 11th December, it was my birthday. Finally you know what the term 'special day' meant.

It started okay. My two best friends wished me happy birthday, which was so sweet of them. Argh! I'm glad to be their friends. (Glomps but jerks away) Oh, wait! I'm not a lesbian!! (Dusts off my shirt) Anyways, around 10th December, my best friend Sandy sent me an early birthday wish since her phone's credit has expired. I grinned like a hyenna at that. Lol

Later around midnight, my other best friend Letisha rang me up and wished me happy birthday too! She was 'angry' that she was the second to wish me happy birthday and 'swore' that she'll 'kill' Sandy. Haha, you were close Letisha. XD! Shortly after that, a close friend of mine (same school, different gender) wished me later on. However, I wasn't satisfied at all.

Why? Because he broke many promises that we both shared and kept for the last three months. I've been reminding him A LOT recently to remember to tell me. But too bad, he was a chicken. Chicken meaning as in coward, okay? Not a literal chicken that lay eggs or breed in the farm. (Sighs) *Ignore that... The gears in my brain are not spinning so well*

Thirty minutes later, my closest best friend Min Li wished me and she too was devastated to found out that she wasn't the first. We shared our moments talking. It was fun until I fell asleep. The next day, Min Li promised to belanja me McDonalds for my birthday gift. I didn't want to be too choosy so I chose the second cheapest burger meals there (which was Double Cheese Burger) and I continued to thank her endlessly. Muahahaha!

Moving on, my parents came home and I didn't exactly expected them to be here. However, I still forced my butt into the house. Obviously, they forgot that today was my birthday because dad was scolding me and mom was practically too busy to notice I was around *as usual*... Half of the day has passed by and nothing really much happened. There were no more birthday wishes or greetings. So I was really sad about that.

In the evening, I pointed out to my mom that she had 'forgotten something'. She remembers it was indeed my birthday but gave an excuse that she forgotten about it. I couldn't blame her for that but it didn't lift the stupid burden inside my chest. Darn... She told my dad and they let me order a regular Pizza Hut Hawaiian Chicken pizza (six pieces of a glorious pizza covered with cheese, pineapples and yummy chickens... Oh, how tempting can it get?)

But I wasn't allowed to finish the whole thing (because I'm an eating machine... seriously), I had to leave several pieces of the pizza and half of the garlic bread that came along with it. (Sighs again) The next day, mom brought me to one of my favorite places in the world: MPH

Considering that I'm a bookworm, I just couldn't resist walking around the shop gleefully like a kid coming to an amusement park.

I did got one of my 'Wanted' books, which was 'The Novice' by Trudi Canavan. I was madly in love with her first book (even though I already read more than half) and was eager to start reading all her series. Sadly, I couldn't buy more than one book. If the limit wasn't just one, I could've bought 'The High Lord' and that would've really made my day. But it didn't.

Dad continued scolding me for not finishing some works that he asked me too but I wasn't in the mood. I was like a wreck, honestly. I feel light and fragile (as if I'll break into pieces if I moved more than an inch), constantly tired (even though I had HOURS of sleep), feeling emo and any other *stupid *teen excuses you could think of. I just wished that I can just lock myself in a huge room reading books. That would've been splendid *if I had all the food, stuff and music with me to keep me in the mood* but it was impossible.

Now it's 14th December, my friend's birthday. I was supposed to send him (yes, him) a message exactly at midnight but I was too busy playing some games until I only sent it at one o'clock in the morning. Thankfully he was still awake so we had a short conversation. He is a nice guy for his age because most guys (at his age) were too busy being pompous and acting cool like some macho Hugh Jackman wannabe. Oh puh-lease.... At least Jackman didn't lose his sense of humour.

Furthermore, it felt like a boring week but it was different. I half-heartedly looking and not so looking forward for my birthay. Oh, the stress. Wth... Right now, I need junk food, especially POTATO CHIPS!

Ahhh!

Boring Holiday

Well, not exactly. The November holidays was good enough when I stayed at my favorite cousin's house. XD! But later on, it started to get more boring and boring nowadays. It sucks, really. I just hope the trip to Indonesia is gonna be good. Again, I'll be with my favorite cousin. Hooray!

Here's a little something I found from the internet.

Instructions:
Bold the statements that are true to you. Italicize the statements that you wish were true. Leave the fibs alone. Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I’m 170cm tall.
I don’t know what I want at the moment.
I’m not happy.
I hate my friends.
I hate my life.
I hate my grades.
He drives. I’m bored of driving.
I have a white handbag
I love dancing. (But I rarely do it...)
I go clubbing every week.
Shopping is bullshit.
I have a tattoo of a star. (That would be cool... But too bad, I can't have one)
I got my navel pierced.
I have friends that take drugs.
90% of my friends smoke.
I still hang out with my ex, even though our break up was rather nasty.
I’m studying Fashion.
I have a business running.
I hate cartoons.
I hate someone.
I have 10 Guess handbags.
I buy CLEO every month.
My parents don’t know about my blog.
I have an iPod.
I don’t have faith in the current “one”.
My school mates know about my blog.
I wanted to be a fashion designer.
I love rock emo bands.
I hate it when people cancel last minute meet ups.
I’m a rebel.
I’m starting to like wearing dresses. (Skirts ada lah)
I don’t believe in love.
High school's filled with drama
My parents have faith in me.
I’ve bought shoes this month.
A blogger bitched about me before.
I hate sports.
I heart Italian food.
I hate meeting new people.
I hate nail polish.
The mother bear gives me hugs.
People should start appreciating me.
High school was the worst time of my life.
I have red hair.
One Utama is my second home.
I’m a guy.
I’m scared of my Biology exam.
I hate vacations. (Seriously...)
We’ll last.
I’m going to get high and smoke weed one day soon.
I’ve robbed an old lady.
I’m starting to like applying make-up. (I know, it's weird. I'm freakking thirteen *rolls eyes*)
I was a tomboy. (Umm... correction: I am a tomboy)
I love bitching about people behind their backs.
I still have a best friend. (I very sayangkan her as my best friend. =D)
I have a cat. (FLUFFY!!! *chases my cat*)
I hate surprise parties.
I hate planning parties.
I’m hot.
I’m a sinner.
I’ve got a DS light.
I have a Wii. (I want one of those!)
I can live without music.
Video games are a waste of time.
I miss the father bear.
I love being in love. (Not really. Eventually, you will have a heartbreak whether its sooner or later)
I know how to cook. (I wanna know how to make cupcakes, darn it!)
I have 100% freedom.
Boys are assholes.
I hate Math.
I love horror movie. (WOOHOO!)
I’m happy with what I have
I slept in my parents’ room for 3 days after watching Scream when I was a kid.
Blogging is a waste of time.
I hate animals.
I can’t live without make-up.
I curse like a pirate.
I’m happy with my 11 year old car.
I hate people that are smart.
I love Apple Juice.
I believe that everyone in their teens have lost their virginity.
I’ve got a new phone.
I’m going to get a new pair of shoes by the end of this month.
I love swimming.
I haven’t worked out since March.
I love my friends and family.

I stab... you, you, you, you and YOU! Haha

Books and books...

In a week, it's my special day (I'll let you guess what is my special day about). If my parents are so nice to give me some money later on, I wish to buy some books that I've always wanted to buy. But I don't think my parents would let me buy ALL the books I want because I might be wasting their money on something that is not-so-close to useful.

Here's my 'Wanted' list (if you wish to see my selfish and greedy side).

1: Natalie Standiford's Dating Game series. I only have the first three books but it turns out that I don't have the three final books. Ah!
2: Trudi Canavan's The Black Magician series. Even though I almost read half of the first book, I've been completely drawn to its suspenseful and spellbinding plot. It makes my heart race and my mind throbbing to unseal all the secrets.
3: Philip Pullman's Northerin Lights. I haven't watch The Golden Compass yet so I might as well give the books a try first before I hunt for the movie. Hehe...
4: I've been craving for more Romance-and-Adventure stories nowadays. Anyone who knows any good ones, please drop their titles and authors in my Cbox. TQ!
5: Hopefully there's some good fantasy books outside there besides from Twilight Saga or The Black Magician trilogy.
6: Stephenie Meyer's The Host. Its a more mature than Twilight. I did like Twilight first instead of New Moon. Reading the three other books were excruciating. I liked Twilight because it was sort of cliche but I loved it.

I didn't put Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer in my list because I've heard there has been hackers hacking in Meyer's computer, leaking out some chapters of the fifth book. My best friend said that she might not be writing the fifth book because of the constance leak and changing plot/scenes.

Jeez, just leave the poor girl alone. She's doing the best she could do, don't ruin her efforts, darn it!

Typical School Drama (Part II)

Who had ever thought that the school drama still continue even its the holidays? Well, I first thought holidays are meant to be drama-free. Who knew that it still somehow continue. I'd ought to be careful if everyone around me since some of them could be a two-faced impostor.

There is the traitor. Lets say two of her closest friends had a shine* for each other. However, the girl (let's call her A) rejected the boy (call him B) because lack of 'chemistry' between each other and other certain reasons. The traitor's and A's friend, C, recently found out a very big and shocking secret from her best friend.

She found out that the traitor snatched B from A, making B her boyfriend as soon as A rejected him. C's best friend also heard that the traitor had kissed B inside her room without A and C knowing about it. C was completely devastated of what she heard and threaten to have revenge.

There is the Lovebirds. To begin with, C has been liking her best friend (Let's call him A2) for four long months. Even though A2 knew that C liked him, he pretended to be completely oblivious which resulted hurting her feelings. When C was ready to forget about A2, she heard that A2's best friend MI still likes her even after three years of not seeing each other.

C and MI had a little rope** way back since primary school. C had a big fat crush on MI back then. Even after he graduacted from primary school, she still liked him. But realizing that she could move on with A2, she had forgotten about MI for awhile. But now, MI's friend N (who is C's friend) said that MI really likes C despite the far distance between them.

There's a lot more but my hands are tied to type anything further which may be too revealing.

Glossary:

* Shine means attraction or affection towards someone. If you're a big fan of Trudi Canavan, you can find this word used in her The Black Magician series.
** Rope is a word I created, meaning history or progress. Inspired by Trudi Canavan again's slangs. In her book, rope means freedom instead (if I perfectly recall).